The Miles Meezer Wetted Head Mystery...

Detective Skeeter and “The Unaccountably Wet-Headed Meezer”

SITUATION: Miles Meezer reports not doin anything wrong, but getting his head wetted for no known reason. Reports no water onna floor, didn’t dip head in the water dish, an says there was “a rainy shower” inna kitchen. The Mom was out of the room, not a witness to the event…

OK. I’m usually invited into places to seeks “after-facts”. But liquid is tricksie stuff and goes away fast. So I hadda invoke my time-travel routine. Well, it really isn’t so much time-TRAVEL as “time-viewing”. I hope Miles an Sammie won’t mind, but I put myself up on a tall place with my “astro-cat” presence in their place an replayed the events of the day. It’s genetics, don’t ask me to ‘splain about it…

It started with the dish-washing… That’s no surprise to me. I’ve seen it happen before. When all was quiet, I took some counter-scrapings and sent them off to the lab. I knew what to expect, but I like to be sure, ya know. I suspected that Sammy had been exposed to Dihydrogen monoxide! Nasty stuff! It collects. It pools together and searches fer a place to get on over edges an down. Its evil stuff, and you have to watch out fer it!

It is also known as hydric acid, and is the major component of acid rain.

* contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
* may cause severe burns in vapor form.
* contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
* accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
* may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
* has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.

Some Beins may think it is “jus stuf”, but I know better. It has attacked more than a few kitties before.

Serious stuff, I tell you. We can drink it, but it has all those other consequences….

With the lab report back (positive for Dihydrogen monoxide) I went back a little further in time…

Wet dishes get placed on the counter. The stuff collects. It is dragged by gravity to surface edges. That’s where Miles was attacked by the awful stuff.

It was the fork (possibly a spoon; astral vision is a bit fuzzy)! It was sitting with an end just over the counter. When the Dihydrogen monoxide liquid reached the edge of the counter and contacted the fork handle hanging JUST over the edge, it suddenly made a freedom break towards gravity via the well-known principle of “vishus deer attack”.

Unfortunately for Miles, he was standing with his head directly unner the escape path of the evil liquid ! The liquid Dihydrogen monoxide fell onto his head as he was standing there (through no fault of his own) and that caused the wetting of his head.

I conclude the following:

1. Miles was not responsible for his head getting all wetted.
2. He was struck by an unexpected gravity attack of Dihydrogen monoxide.
3. You can’t trust a fork hanging over the edge of a countertop
4. Dihydrogen monoxide is really terrible stuff

I hope that solves the mystery of the unaccountably wetted head… ;)

Usual cost is one can of tuna an some nip, but this is for free (it was too easy). Watch for my story in the next ‘We Are The Kitties’ book for serious Detective Skeeter work.

Detective Skeeter